#137 Self-Compassion for Perfectionists with Jessica Oschwald — Martina Fink

As a high achieving woman in today's western world, it is so easy to get sucked into the fast paced lifestyle of work, success, full schedules, and not much free time. This often results in you sleeping through the entire weekend, cancelling plans with friends, and feeling frustrated with yourself.

Jessica is one of my lovely clients who, over the past year, has implemented simple, but life-transforming changes in her lifestyle to quit overwhelm, raise her self-compassion, and put her own needs and desires first: to teach Yoga again.

Jessica Oschwald is a psychologist by training and a certified vinyasa Yoga teacher (350h). In 2018, she accomplished her PhD and subsequently a PostDoc at the University of Zurich, where she specialised in the cognitive neuroscience of healthy ageing. Today, she works as a data scientist in personalized healthcare and is based in London, UK.

Jessica shares her passion through The Mindful Lab, where it is her mission to make the ancient teachings of Yoga blended with insights from modern science accessible to everyone who wants to slow down, and live a more mindful and purposeful life.

IN TODAY’S EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT:

How to not freak out when things don't go as planned
Why being part of a community helps you feel less alone
How to lower the expectations you have of yourself
How to meet new likeminded people while working from home
The key to being compassionate with yourself
How to put yourself first and not always be available for everyone and everything
Why you are in the right place right now
How to authentically be yourself again

And so much more!

Have you downloaded the free Self-Care Guide for Perfectionist? Click here to access it:
martinafink.lpages.co/perfectionist-bundle

EPISODE RESOURCES

Jessica's favorite Green Smoothie Recipe
Jessica on Pia's About the Details Podcast
Jessica's Rock the Weekend Yoga Class

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

http://themindful-lab.com
http://www.instagram.com/themindful_lab/

TODAY’S EPISODE TRANSCRIBED:

Martina Fink 0:00

This is episode number 137 with Jessica Oschwald. Welcome to the glow life podcast. The one and only place for ambitious, high achieving and perfectionist women like you who want to leave, overwhelm behind. Turn self doubt into self confidence and learn to trust yourself again, so that you can work less fully love and accept yourself and live a fulfilled and glowing life. Every week, I'll be giving you tips and inspiration on how to think less, feel more slow down can use your body and your daily habits to help you step up, level up and glow up in all areas of your life. This is not just about the big shifts, you can glow just a little more every single day.

Martina Fink 1:01

Welcome back to the glow life podcast. And today I have a glow tip for you that is all about checking in with yourself. One of the things we talked about in today's episode is overloading our schedules and having too many things and too many appointments and too many things that will lead we believe we have to do for others on our calendar. And I want you to make sure that you don't run into the same thing. And maybe you already are in that place where you are constantly over scheduling yourself and you end up feeling exhausted and tired on the weekend, then this is for you. So what I want you to do is ask yourself two questions. Question number one. First of all, you are going to open back up your calendar and you're gonna just take a look at what is in there, whether that's something you have in your computer, or you have it on your phone or you have it in your actual piece of paper agenda, whatever it is for you. Take a look at what is up for the week. What do you have scheduled for this week? Question number one, how does it feel? Do you already get a feeling of oh my goodness, I will never get to the end of this week. I'm already stressed out just by seeing all these appointments. Or does it feel like oh, this feels really good. I have enough time for myself. I'm going to get a massage. I have some time for self care. I'm talking to my friends. What is the number one a feeling that comes up when you look at your calendar? Second question for you is what can I change about this? What can I add to it? What can I cancel? For it to feel better? Right? So maybe if it's feeling overwhelming, what you have planned for the week, what can you change? What can you reschedule? What can you cancel? Where can you add in some time for you something where you can recharge something that nourishes you. If it feels like an empty, quote unquote, empty week, and it feels really good, then what else can you add to make you feel better? What else can you do to nourish yourself, or to help someone else or to strengthen your relationships? Okay, take a look at your calendar, see how it feels, and then see what you can change about it. Because the most important thing is that whatever the feeling you have, you get to own that and you get to take the responsibility for changing it. If it doesn't feel good. Nobody else can change it for you unless you do. And now I'm really excited to bring on Jessica who is one of my clients we've worked together for about a year now and Jessica is a psychologist by training and she's also a certified vinyasa yoga teacher. And in 2018 she accomplished her PhD and subsequently a postdoc at the University of Zurich in Switzerland, where she specialized in the cognitive neuroscience of healthy aging. Today, she works as a data scientist in personalized health care, and is based in London. Jessica shares her passion for healthy living and mindfulness in the yoga lab, where it is her mission to make the ancient teachings of yoga blended with insights from modern science accessible to everyone who wants to slow down and live a more mindful and purposeful life, aka the girl life. So in today's episode, we talk about how to not freak out when things don't go as planned. Why being part of a community helps you feel less alone. How to lower the expectations that you have of yourself How to meet new like minded people while working from home. The key to being compassionate with yourself, how to put yourself first and not always be available for everyone and everything. Why you are in the right place right now? And how to authentically Be yourself again, and so much more. And you can find everything we talked about today in the show notes at Martina Fink comm slash podcast slash 137. Welcome Jessica. I am so grateful to have you on the podcast today.

Jessica Oschwald 5:37

Hi, Martina, I'm so grateful to be here. Thank you for inviting me.

Martina Fink 5:43

We have been working together for about a year now i would say.

Jessica Oschwald 5:48

It's crazy. It's already a year, it seems like it was just yesterday.

Martina Fink 5:54

I know it's wild. And I remember kind of what your life looked like a year ago. And then you have been in a couple of my different programs. And we've worked on a lot of the perfectionist things for you as well. And the high expectations and the really, really busy life. But can you give us a short introduction around like what your lifestyle looked like a year ago?

Jessica Oschwald 6:17

So I remember that. I joined your first program. I think that was like a free program before COVID started. So my life looked completely different anyways,

Martina Fink 6:30

yes.

Jessica Oschwald 6:32

I can give you an idea. So I had just moved jobs, I had moved countries. So I had a big change. In my entire life. I moved from Switzerland to London, moved into a new flat started in you work and everything was so different. So I felt a bit lost. I remember. And I also had a lot of expectations how this time abroad should be. And then yeah, I wanted to do so many things in London. I mean, it's a really cool city, you you have so many options. But then the reality was that I commuted every day to work. And that took me I think in total, almost three hours. And then I was just tired. When I came home in the evenings, I cooked maybe sometimes I had takeout. But that's it. So my life looked a bit different than the expectations that I had. And I it was like a month of really intense of a really intense time where I actually felt quite overwhelmed by everything that was new around me. And then COVID hit. And I think that's the point where I then decided to join your programs more regularly. So I don't even remember what I what programs I joined. And where there were several. So I think it was cloaker foundations. But then also, I think very central for me was the perfectionist rehab program, which also really helped me to deal with those expectations.

Martina Fink 8:12

Yeah. So why are what are certain expectations that you had? You said, you had expectations of what this time should look like that you're abroad? What did these expectations look like?

Jessica Oschwald 8:24

Yeah, I think it was on one hand that I would meet so many new people. And I already had some friends who lived in London. So I had people around me, but it's not that easy to meet new people in a big city. And then I also didn't really feel like it. Because on the weekend I was tired. And then everything that I want to do if I want to go to dinner with a friend, I have to drive through the city for an hour or two. And it's so different than in Switzerland. So you don't just go to dinner or you just go to your yoga studio or to sports. It's all in whilst we have a lot of time. And in my mind, I would do go to theaters go to museums go to my yoga studio and whatever. But in reality, I've maybe did one of those things. And I think that's that's not a problem at all right, like now looking back. I think it was a great time. But I didn't really enjoy it as much as I could have.

Martina Fink 9:31

Yeah, and also what you mentioned about meeting new people, we have this illusion of how easy it would be to just meet new people and it will be so you know, fun and effortless but also like if we're honest or at our age and at our stage of personal development, it becomes more and more difficult to meet people that you actually align with because there's just so many people and then a big chunk of the majority of people They're not really self aware. They're just living like robots and machines, you know, just going to work just coming home sleeping, eating, working, repeating. Like, that's what I used to do. And I know that's what you used to do to like, just working like, that's all we do, right. And so it becomes more and more challenging to actually meet new people that you align with and that you love and that you can have deep conversations with, because your own expectations of what friendships should be have also changed.

Jessica Oschwald 10:31

Yeah, for sure. And you also have this expectation of friendship that you know, from, from the friends you maybe have over the years. And that's so different from new friendships that you form in a new country, where you're also just like learning how everything works. So it can be equally great, but it's just different. And so I think, yeah, my my expected, I think the problem was really like the expectations I had then didn't match my reality. And that made me feel lost, and also a bit disappointed sometimes of myself.

Martina Fink 11:08

Yeah, because you want something and you don't get it. like that. Nobody likes that.

Jessica Oschwald 11:11

Yeah. And it got worse when COVID started, obviously, because then I couldn't do any of those things anymore. And I asked myself, why did I even come here? Why, why? Why am I here? So I moved for a job. But now I'm working from home. And I think, yeah, now that I look back, I see it as it enormous opportunity. Because I had a year of time for self development, I actually met new people, maybe not in the way that I expected. But I met so many great women in your community as well, that I aligned with and that I still meet regularly, at least some of them and even with one with pa for example. I was on a podcast recently. So we created something together. So there are connections forming that, that our friendships, but also, you know, even more that, that you just get creative together. Yeah, before,

Martina Fink 12:12

it's so beautiful. And I I've experienced that myself in programs that I'm in and I was in that I connect with people on such a different level, because you are on a similar stage of your personal development of you know, you have similar ways that you view life. And it's one of the biggest parts of all of my programs is community. And I don't know, you can see my picture in the background. And my office is, it's like a group hug from one of my retreats. And it's one of my favorite picture. Because it's so special when we come together as women and we nurture each other, and hold the space for each other. And we show each other that we are there to support and also just there to listen. And besides like creating beautiful friendships, how has the community aspect of the programs that you were in specifically perfectionist rehab, how has that support at you in your on your journey,

Jessica Oschwald 13:14

I think that was a really big part of the journey, I can just compare it to the first program I joined with you that was, you know, less interactive, where we completed modules, or maybe we listen to some x, or we did some exercises like meditation. And that was really great as well. And it was an introduction for me. But then, really, like, the big difference in perfectionist rehab was that people were there to hold you accountable, but also to support you when you had a bad day. You can always ask someone a question. And you're you you're just never alone. So you're not alone on that journey. And that makes you so much more powerful. So I think it's it's like, for me, it's like, almost the biggest part of self development is is also sharing it with others. And that's something that that you wouldn't expect, because self development sounds like it's just centered on you. And you're just doing something on your own. But that's that's not really the case. I think it's really important to have a community of like minded women around.

Martina Fink 14:32

Yeah, I agree. And the the community aspect is so key because we always feel like with our suffering and with our pain and with our problems, we are the only one in the entire world and nobody will understand us. And then when you come into a program like rehab, where which is about perfectionism, so you have all other women who are struggling with the very same things like the things you mentioned, of being so exhausted on the weekend, and overworking yourself, and not having time to meet new friends and just being tired all the time, like you realize that you're not the only one and that there are so many other women who are going through the same thing. And that makes you empowered, and you're like, Oh, I'm not the only one. So that makes me feel like I belong to a group of women that are going through the same thing. And then together in this community, we can uplift each other, we always say like, we rise by lifting others. So as we lift others up, we ourselves can rise up to.

Jessica Oschwald 15:33

Yeah, I totally agree with that. I felt so many times that other women are actually sharing the same problem as me and I would have never expected that, like, often we just think we're alone. And we feel isolated with a problem. But actually, so many people are struggling with the same especially like with the, with this basically lifestyle that we all lead. I mean, that's just like a cultural thing as well. It's, it's something that we just live in, and it's really hard to, to like, be apart from it and not be influenced, like drawn into it too much. So if you just like work a nine to five job, you, you're oftentimes just you get stressed, and you feel overwhelmed. So so many people struggle with that. But the good thing is to know that, that doesn't have to be your real reality, you can step out of it.

Martina Fink 16:33

Absolutely. And it's harder to do that and don't want to say it's hard, because then we make it hard. But it is it is it takes a decision first. And it takes the realization that you are in control of what you create with your life and what you do with your life and how you spend your time. I always say we all have 24 hours and Person A might choose to spend 12 of these hours at work every day. Person B might choose to spend that Saturday morning working right? Person c might choose not to work past 6pm, person D might choose to take all weekends off or take like, you know, go on vacation every month or something like that. And, and you get to choose what you create. And the first step is always stepping out of this, oh, this is just what it is kind of victim mindset of like, this is our society. This is what successful women do. Like we just work hard, we make money we are like we can multitask. We can have a family and a career. Like we just kind of subscribe to these expectations. And we can just hit the unsubscribe button and say, You know what, this is not what I want to do I want I want a different reality. And I want to what I call the glowing life, I want to create that glow for myself and I own it. And a part of the ownership a part of the responsibility means that I have to accept that what I'm doing now is is not good.

Jessica Oschwald 18:07

Yeah, that's hard. I feel that's really hard. Because it's so much easier to blame. blame your stress on others, like typically we blame it on our work. We're just like, Okay, I'm so busy, I have so many tasks to do. But in reality, everyone is probably busy in your team. And if you look at people working with you, not everyone is stressed in the same way. So it is really a personal decision. And if you look at your life, you're probably doing many things that are not that enjoyable, but you just do them to please someone that is what I saw in in perfectionist rehab, a prog problem that many perfectionist and also myself a struggle with that you just feel like you want to accommodate everyone and you. And it's it's something that you feel it's a good thing, right? You're nice. But in the end, it can happen that you forget about yourself. And you just like get into all these things that you do on a daily basis. And maybe that wouldn't even be necessary, if you would ask for help. But it's hard to to do that to do that step.

Martina Fink 19:20

Yeah. And often when we please others, we do that at the expense of our own happiness. And well being right we overwork ourselves so that something at work gets finished. That means I am doing that but I'm cutting back on my sleep which is then harming me. So that's really where the whole like loving yourself piece comes in. of Am I doing something at the expense of my own peace and well being? Or am I doing something because I truly love and it's also nourishing for me.

Jessica Oschwald 19:54

Yeah, totally.

Martina Fink 19:57

I would love to know a little more about your life. Today, to how you like kind of like what your day to day looks like how you feel, what has changed in the past year for you?

Jessica Oschwald 20:10

Well, a lot has changed, actually. And I think, on a daily basis, I don't realize that but yeah, when I look back, and I really think about it, also now talking about how my life looked like a year ago, a lot has changed. And I think it's, it's more on the inside, even than on the outside. So, I mean, what has changed is that I actually started to teach yoga again, I'm a certified yoga teacher. Besides my job, I, I always was very, you know, in the yoga scene, and I loved to do yoga, because it was such a balance for me next to my very rational job being in science. And I used to teach yoga when I when I lived in Switzerland, just like one class a week. But when I moved countries, I gave that up. And I realized that this was a key factor. For me, this gave me so much and balanced, rational person that I am maybe on a daily basis, and had like, it just gives me this intuitive balance back. And I didn't know how to teach when I don't have a client basis. So actually, also through working with you, I got inspired to to start that passion again. And I started my own website, called the mindful lab and started to teach yoga class each week. The Rock the weekend yoga class. So that is really something that makes me super happy now and it gives me so much I love working with clients and, and teaching yoga and see how I can contribute that others feel a bit less stressed in their everyday life and more balanced as well. Hmm. So that's one thing that is a huge part for me.

Martina Fink 22:15

And I want to say your your your rock the weekend, yoga classes are so fun, because you have like your own style, and you have really fun, uplifting music. And I love the kind of vibe that you create. And we are totally linking everything in the show notes. Everyone wants a Saturday morning. Beautiful yoga class with Jessica, go check that out.

Jessica Oschwald 22:41

Thank you. So yeah, besides that, I think as I said, the change is more on the inside. So I feel that I am just in general, I'm more compassionate with myself. And more loving So I love that you What do you always say like that you should do things out of love and not out of fear. That little sentence helped me a lot. So I try to really think of that in my everyday life. It doesn't always work out. I mean, it's it's a journey. So I don't feel like I'm My life is now perfect. But it just helps me to bounce back when I'm in a situation where I stress myself by setting high expectations. And maybe I feel like I need to finish this work today. But it could be that I can also finish it another day. So I just tried to step back in such situations and tell myself, it's okay, you're doing your best and that's fine. It's enough. And, and actually it is most of the time. So that is a huge step, I think a huge change for me. And then yeah, I also started having a regular morning routine again. So that is something I used to have. But somehow with all the moving I just completely lost that. So I started doing yoga again in the morning. And my routine is not super long or anything but it's just consistent and sometimes I also change what I do, but I know that I get up like half an hour or sometimes even just 15 minutes earlier at a yoga or meditation. Or I go for a walk to some journaling, whatever I feel like that day and it's really like a game changer. I feel that really sets you up for for an entire day. Absolutely.

Martina Fink 24:49

I recently have to go to the grocery store and then early morning like nine o'clock or something for me, like I literally woke up went to the grocery store. I came home feeling so stressed out, because there were all these people. And I didn't do my morning practice before. But I'm just saying this because the most important relationship is the one that we have with ourselves. And when we don't create the time and space for that, what happens is that we start relating to all kinds of other people, and that affect the relation effects and relationship that we have with ourselves. And so I'm so happy you got back into it. And I just want to say, just like you said, it's not about how long it is, it's not about the longer the better. It's just about the consistency and consistently showing up for yourself, which then the fact that you did that resulted in you being more compassionate in your everyday life, like in something that's related to work, it's not because your work ethic has changed or anything like that. It's because of the relationship that you have started establishing with yourself with those tiny chunks of time on a daily basis.

Jessica Oschwald 26:00

Yeah, totally. Yeah, this whole aspect of being compassionate with myself. It also shows for example, in the morning routine. So as an example, I think it was two days ago, I really woke up and I didn't feel well, so I was super sleepy, and I could have stayed in bed forever. I think we all have those days. So called being compassionate with myself was then not getting up and doing my 15 minutes, sweaty yoga routine. But I rolled out of bed and I took my blanket, wrapped it around me and just did a meditation of 10 minutes. And that's it. That was my morning routine. So it's viewed, I think being compassionate is also being flexible, and adjusting to the situation because you can't always be perfect. That was something I used to have before also like having high expectations of always having to do yoga in the morning for so and so long. Because I'm a yoga teacher, right? So I should do that. But yeah, who tells you that you used to do that.

Martina Fink 27:08

And I love that you've you've learned to listen to your body and listen to what it means whether that's a meditation and you're tired, whether that's a sweaty yoga session, like you know what's best for you. And that requires some radical honesty, because you have to break those expectations that you thought you needed to meet. Yeah, was there I would love to hear if there was any specific situation that you came across in the past few weeks, where you notice, oh, I'm actually reacting differently to this than I used to in the past?

Jessica Oschwald 27:44

Yeah, that's a good question. I think there were many situations, I'm just trying to think of like a specific one. One example was maybe when I talked Well, when I had set up a call with a friend. And usually, like, I'm very committed to the things I say that I will do. So usually, then I show up, despite maybe feeling tired or anything. So you know, life is always a bit different. And you plan so and I remember on that day, just so many things came in between. and I felt like I just I just really feel not don't feel like having another call. I mean, you're on zoom calls all day now. And sometimes I'm just overwhelmed by this. And so I asked to shift that call. It sounds like a very simple thing to do. But it is for me a big step. Because it's a bit it's a different reaction. I think normally I would be like, hey, it's just a phone call, you can do this. And I would push myself. But that way, I'm not serving myself. And I'm not serving my friend either. Because who wants to talk to someone who is tired, who doesn't really want to listen to you? It's just but I feel that yeah, it's something I used to do more often in the past, just like pushing myself to do things, maybe also go on appointments, that I didn't feel like, and it was not about the person I was meeting It was really more I was just tired. Um, and now I do that more often that I take a step back first and think about Do I really feel like going? Yeah, I allow myself to, to also shift appointments.

Martina Fink 29:36

Yeah. And really the people that we love, they deserve us in our best shape like we want when we meet them. We want to be there for them. We want to be present. We want to listen, we want to support right? We don't want to come with like 10% of our energy left. That would be so unfair.

Jessica Oschwald 29:53

Yeah, I totally agree. And, and that is, I think it's something many people struggle with actually I think it is. It is Kind of an expectation we all have of each other that we are 100% available all the time on our phones, like always texting back, always being available to call always being available to meet up. And just saying I am tired today, it's not really an accepted excuse. Right? Like many people feel like I can't say that I need to come up with something else, like something came in between. But I think it's a really good excuse, because that means you love your respect and love the other person as well, because you want to give them your full attention.

Martina Fink 30:38

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I would love to know from you how you define your glowing life?

Jessica Oschwald 30:45

I think I would say two things. One is definitely really taking care of myself of my body. So I like to move my body every day in some way. It doesn't have to be crazy. I like to eat healthy. So recently, I've gotten addicted to green smoothies. Yes. addiction, inspired by you actually. I kind of stopped doing that for a while. And then I think on a more Maybe, yeah, like spiritual or psychological level, just being true to yourself. Yeah, stepping up for yourself as much as you can. And sometimes you it's not possible. But I'm working on that is for me, really a glowing life. So I feel like when you can really be yourself in any situation, then that really means happiness.

Martina Fink 31:48

I agree. And it's so interesting how you say, like several things that you've mentioned in this episode is that you used to do that in the past, and then you stopped. And yeah, I'm assuming you stopped because work got in the way. And like, there, it was just so busy and so much pressure. And, and I'm so happy to hear that you got all these things back into place, like your morning routine here smoothies, that Yoga is part of your life that you're teaching it like, that's really what we're trying to do. And in perfections rehab is like getting at getting you out of this life where you are doing things for others or because you believe you have to or because there is expectations and really bringing you back into the place where you are just you like where you are just almost like that younger version of you that was so happy and playful. And you know, just did all the things that she loved and like getting you back into that state.

Jessica Oschwald 32:43

Yeah, it's it's good that you mentioned the younger version of you. Because I think that is also something I connected more with in the past year, just because we had more time as well to, to spend by ourselves. So I started doing things again, I love to do as a child. And that was also, for example, I always love to write, I used to write stories. And now I don't really write stories anymore. But I love journaling. And I love to write blog posts, which I do now on my website. So if I just started doing, again, what I love. And I don't know why, you know, sometimes life gets in the way, and you stop doing that as you grow up. But the important thing is you can always pick that back up, no matter how old you are. Yeah,

Martina Fink 33:39

I think the reason why we forget it is because we're so busy in this hamster wheel that's just turning and turning and turning. And we don't take those five minutes a day to check in with ourselves to actually ask ourselves, how am I feeling? How am I feeling about the work that I'm doing? How am I feeling about the people I'm with, we're not checking in, we're just kind of on the treadmill going, going going never stops, right? And then you don't have time to actually think about it. And specifically today with like social media and phones and notifications and emails and computers and all of that we're bombarded with information from the outside. So it becomes more and more difficult to actually find that peace within. And just be quiet to listen because there's so much noise in the outside, going on.

Jessica Oschwald 34:27

Yeah, and we we somehow don't feel comfortable anymore to stop. I realized that it's scary. That's an addiction, you know that you're always entertained. I see that myself like, it's, it's really nice to just look into your phone when you're bored. If it's something really calming, but that's not great because you never get the space to actually be bored and just be silent. And that's the time where you are most inspired and where you actually can connect to yourself. So I think by like, by connecting to our phones, and by being connected all the time, it's like we're disconnecting from ourselves.

Martina Fink 35:10

Absolutely. And the word inspired comes from in spirit. So like, when we take when we are inspired, it's because our, it's almost like our spirit guides or higher self, whatever is coming through. But when we don't take that time, we cannot be inspired. Like, there's absolutely no way that you can be inspired by spending five hours on your phone every day, unless you actually do something that connects you with your soul and your spirit. But um, that's really interesting. And we need to connect more with ourselves and not so much with all these other people.

Jessica Oschwald 35:47

Yeah, tell me. And I think many people have done that. This year. Yeah. Talking to others, I often hear that they discovered something they love doing. So I think it's a great opportunity. Of course, I also hope that we can soon travel again and, and go to restaurants and bars. But you know, I think it also had like a good side.

Martina Fink 36:11

Yeah. And it's because we perceive to have more time, most people are like, Oh, now I have more time, because I'm working from home. Now I can actually do the things but it's really just a matter, it was probably a matter of a couple of weeks. And they were back in their routines of like not having time because of the mindset of I never have time for the things I love. And so for those of you listening, who have been able to connect with something that you love in the past year, make sure that now that's were opening back up and travel will start again and restaurants are open, like make sure that you keep that connection, because it will be so easy to snap back out of it and be back in your old habits. And it's a gift that we've been able to have so much more time for ourselves because of people not having to commute for example.

Jessica Oschwald 37:02

Yeah. I mean, for everyone who is working a home office job like me, of course, I know that, you know, everyone in the health care sector, working at the front has had a really hard time. So I'm just speaking like for people like me, of course who were privileged enough to stay at home.

Martina Fink 37:22

Yes, yes. Now I have a couple quick questions before we wrap up, Jessica. What is your favorite smoothie?

Jessica Oschwald 37:32

That's easy. I love green smoothies. Yeah, usually I just, I actually just put up a blog post today on my favorite smoothie recipe and it overlaps very much with with your green smoothie recipe I realized just that I like I usually don't. I really add a lot of greens. I'm not sure if that is everyone's taste, but I usually add like spinach and cucumber, and different Herbes ginger, some water, and then only a little bit of fruit, maybe like a bit of apple or some other fruit. Whatever sweet fruit you have around.

Martina Fink 38:19

And we will link your smoothie in the in the show notes. And I mean, I did not invent the green smoothie at all.

Jessica Oschwald 38:28

No, but I find it so funny, you know, because it is. You see so many recipes out there. Sometimes I get confused. And I actually I feel like I've developed this one over over time. Because I feel like it needs to be easy. And you need to have the ingredients at home. And sometimes those smoothies have stuff that you just don't find. So I think it is like a practical smoothie recipe. So I found it funny that we actually use similar.

Martina Fink 38:58

Yeah, yeah. simple and quick, for sure. What are three things that you are grateful for today, Jessica?

Jessica Oschwald 39:08

Um, three things. So one is for sure to be on your podcast. I feel really honored. After working with you. For this past year. I, of course, also listen to the podcast and I've been really enjoying it. So it's a pleasure to be here. And then. Yeah, the other one is really being part of an amazing community of women who are smart and creative, inspired. I think it doesn't really matter whether you're living at the same place anymore. No, you can also connect across the world. Yeah. So I'm really grateful for that too. And the last one I would say that I'm healthy. That's something I'm really grateful for. Yeah,

Martina Fink 40:08

Our health is our most important asset. And you're doing so much to take care of it. So beautiful. Now, if somebody is considering joining perfectionist rehab and diving into releasing those high expectations and the overwhelming distress from their everyday lives, and constant people pleasing, what would you tell them?

Jessica Oschwald 40:30

I would tell them that they shouldn't wait until the time is right, because that's what I used to do. Like, I used to follow different online programs and thought that I may sign up at some point. But when I'm ready, and you're never perfectly ready, You're ready right now. So you should just do it now. and invest in yourself because you are worthy to take care of yourself. And, yeah, go for it.

Martina Fink 41:02

Yeah, I am ready now used to be an affirmation that I needed to tell myself too, because I too was waiting for like, the right time and the right moment, and everything needed to align, but just not now. Because now is not the right time because of this, this and this. But um, yeah, I love that you mentioned that. Is there anything else that you would like to share with our listeners today?

Jessica Oschwald 41:25

The the message that wherever you are at right now, it's, it's the perfect place to be. I used to ask myself a lot like why have I not come farther than I am? Or why didn't I do this? Or that? I think everyone asks themselves these questions, especially perfectionist. Yeah. So I just want to tell you, you're right, where you where you're supposed to be

Martina Fink 41:56

So beautiful. Yeah, it's all about being present and not so much in the past or in the future I should have or I should, that just causes more frustration and expectation. So I love that you share that. Where can people find you online.

Jessica Oschwald 42:12

So on my Instagram, it's the mindful underscore lab. And my website is the mindful, that lab.com

Martina Fink 42:28

Beautiful. And we will share the links in the show notes as well. So everyone go check out Jessica and her beautiful rock the weekend yoga class. Thank you so much for being here, Jessica. And for sharing your experience. I'm just, I'm so grateful for you for doing this cert for being on this journey for yourself and for your willingness to share it with others because, you know, I can talk about my programs and the experiences for so long. But it doesn't always click for people until they actually hear from a quote unquote, real woman, how much is actually possible. And I am so grateful that you shared your experience with everyone today, and you were vulnerable and courageous enough to come on to the podcast and share about yourself in your your life.

Jessica Oschwald 43:18

Thank you, Martina. I'm also very grateful for your coaching over the past year, and I wouldn't be here if I don't believe in it. And I thought, you know, the effects. And I feel like it's not easy to be vulnerable on a podcast, but I'm here because I feel that others need to hear it as well. So

Martina Fink 43:40

I just got a full guy full body goosebumps. And that's when you become a leader when you step up, and you're like, you know what, I'm scared, but I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this if I can even just help one person, then I can put my fears aside.

Jessica Oschwald 43:56

Exactly. So we should all inspire others to

Martina Fink 44:01

and get out of our own way. Yeah. I am so grateful to have Jessica in my community of wonderful clients. And you know, this is also a space for me to connect with like minded women. And for me to feel like I'm I belong to a group of wonderful women that are interested in the same topic said I am interested in and I love that. And it's been so beautiful to see her become herself again through these simple but consistent lifestyle changes that she's implemented over the years and that she is now able to share her gifts with others through her classes. The glow life All I can say like a little life if you're struggling with exhaustion and high levels of stress and high expectations, and perfectionism just like Jessica and myself used to. I actually have a free self care guide for perfectionists in the show notes that will help you with my top three steps to quit all of that and take the first step towards your own glowing life. If you are someone who is absolutely ready to tackle perfectionism, then I invite you to learn more about perfectionist rehab, which is a 90 day healing journey out of overwhelm into a peaceful, fulfilled and glowing life. The link to learn more is on my website Martina Fink comm forward slash rehab and you can also find it in the show notes. If this episode was in any way helpful for you and inspires you to live in even more glowing life, it would mean so much to me. If you left us a review for this episode, follow the good life podcast on iTunes and Spotify and for everything that we mentioned in today's episode, you can go check out the show notes at Martina Fink comm slash podcast slash 137. If there's anyone in your life that really needs to hear about Jessica's story, or even just needs to try her yoga class, please forward it to them right now. I would love to connect with you on social media you can find me at Martina glows. If you love this podcast. Please let me know I would love to hear from you. Thank you so much for being here today and for caring for yourself so deeply. Because what you do for yourself is going to impact every single soul that you touch. You deserve to feel glowing and confident. Beautiful.

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