Maybe you’re feeling a little frustrated, sad, or even angry with yourself that you haven’t been able to achieve some of the goals you had set for yourself in your New Year’s resolutions in January. And there can be a variety reasons why (have you had chance to read this yet?). And while many people may be really excited about the year coming to an end (because they may believe that the new year will magically resolve all the issues 2021 brought us…) and setting new goals for the new year, I would like to invite you to fully honor yourself if you’re not at all feeling excited about December 31 approaching.
And let’s be honest, nobody thought we’d go through another year with minimal social contacts, barely any travel, separation from family and friends, and tons of bad news. With this insanity not seeming to come to an end anytime soon, you may feel frustrated with yourself that yet another year has passed without you seeming to make a step forward in your life (towards your glow life).
Now, without forcing yourself into feeling "excited", just because everyone else is, and before we set ourselves up for some new goals in the new year, let’s take inventory of what exactly happened that's making us feel this way, and let's look at how you can turn your frustration into peace in four steps.
Step 1: Awareness
Becoming aware of where you’re at with your goals
Maybe you've worked too much (that’s probably the biggest reason of all), forgot about the goals you had set, because life got busy, or some things weren’t possible due to the pandemic (e.g. travel to a certain country for vacation due to travel restrictions). Or maybe something unexpected happened, or what you desired was greatly out of your control (e.g. find love, get pregnant). All of it can feel frustrating or saddening.
The first step is to become aware of where you're at with your goals. That will help you do better next time and is always the first step to any change in life.
Step 2: Acceptance
Being ok with what is, even if it’s not what you desired
You may not quite be where you wanted to be in your life. Maybe you wanted a promotion. Maybe you wanted to be in a relationship. Maybe you desired to move somewhere, but couldn't. Now that you are aware of what you're frustrated about, let's accept that this is what it is right now. As much as you wanted things to be different, we can only work with what is. Close your eyes right now and give yourself a hug. Say to yourself „It’s ok. I’m ok.“.
The second step is to radically accept that this is where we're at. Don't judge yourself. Acceptance alone can remove a lot of pressure in one moment.
Step 3: Compassion
Your feelings are valid and they matter
When you can accept that you're here right now (and not where you thought you would be), the gift lies in being really kind and compassionate with yourself as you move through the frustration. It’s ok. You didn’t mess up. You’re not a failure, and you’re going to be ok no matter what. Tomorrow is a new day, 2022 will be a new year, and you can still course correct. But for right now, your frustration matters. Your sadness matters. Your anger and disappointment matters.
The third step is to give yourself some grace. Be compassionate and loving with yourself, even when your expectations weren't met.
Step 4: Realignment
And now what do you want and need in this moment?
Now that you're aware of what happened (or didn't happen), you've accepted that this is what is right now, and you've been really kind with yourself in the process, it's time to realign. Even though some things didn’t fall into place as you wanted, it's never too late course correct and realign with what you truly desire. So what do you want? How do you want the remaining few weeks of 2021 to go? And how do you want to feel during this time?
The fourth step is to realign. Remember your values, your desires, and your needs. How can you realign with these things now?
Remember: You have a choice.
While sitting with the feelings, the disappointment, and the sadness is important, it is equally important to then remember that you are the creator of your life. Even when there are tons of things you can’t control right now, what you create in particular is your reaction to the things and the situations.
So now, you have a choice. You’re aware of where you’re at, what went wrong, and what you truly desire in your heart. You can choose to either remain stuck in the frustration and the anger that something didn’t work out, or you can choose to be kind to yourself, be your own best friend, give yourself another chance and do your best now.
For 2022, I really want you to set goals that feel exciting, doable, and are realistic. The purpose of getting clear on your vision is not to overwhelm you and throw it out the window, because it feels impossible! The purpose is to help you make a plan that's easy, exciting, and doable. We will help you set yourself up to win with your goals! Click below to see how we can support you this year:
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3 Tips for High Achieving Perfectionists Who Are Ready to Remove Overwhelm and Work Less
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