Let's face it: perfectionism is keeping you stuck in so many ways. And it probably has been for years, if not decades. It makes you work extra hours every day, because you just can't finish that project without it being 100% perfect. It makes you spend every free minute taking care of your friend's needs, your parents' desires, and everyone else who may need your help. You feel exhausted and tired, because you can't switch of your mind at night and often don't wakeup well-rested.
I hear you, lovely, and let's turn things around in 2022 and start creating that peaceful life where you are successful in your job while also taking really good care of yourself (because I'm sure you know we only get one of those and I assume you'd desire a long and healthy life!).
Here are 3 things I want you to remember as you move into this new year ready to remove perfectionism and put yourself, your health, and your mental and emotional peace first:
Remember: Your value does not depend on your performance
I've found that perfectionists are often people pleasers, and they think that the better they perform at work, the higher their value. That's because we look for outside validation, such as a compliment from your boss or your co-workers, a promotion at work, or a pay raise.
While all of these things are great and definitely feel good when we receive them, the truth, however, is that you are worthy and enough just as you are. In fact, you were born worthy. Your value is not at all tied to how well you perform at work.
Reflection: Remember that even when things aren't "perfect" in your eyes, you are still enough and you can achieve mental peace by reminding yourself of that.
Remember: We can manage stress or we can eliminate stress
There are two ways to deal with stress: to manage it and to eliminate it. If you're struggling with high levels of stress (from a high workload, high expectations of yourself, people pleasing etc.), the first step is always to find a way to manage your stress in the moment (other than waiting for the weekend or your next vacation). Examples can be:
Breathe consciously for 3-4 cycles
Take a break as your headache arises
Close your computer at a decent time (is it 6, 7, 8pm for you?)
Prioritize your sleep
Turn your phone off
Workout or go for a walk
Meditate to clear your thoughts
Write down what's bothering you
Take a shower or a bath
Shake your body or dance
The list goes on. These are simple things to instantly reduce your cortisol levels (stress hormone) in your body, release some tension in your head or shoulders, and find some emotional peace within. However, as long as you continue to put yourself into the same stressful situations, you won't see lasting change. In order to address the stress at the root of it, we have to find ways to eliminate it. Examples can be:
Turn down projects when your plate is already full
Have a conversation with your boss about work-life balance
Quit your job
Change your career completely
Have honest conversations with those who trigger you
Cancel your Netflix membership
Establish a consistent self-care routine to fill yourself up first
Eat healthy, move your body, cultivate gratitude, find purpose, pray or meditate
Reflection: Where are you at right now with stress and what's your next action step to manage or eliminate it?
Remember: Your glow is in your hands
If you truly want to quit perfectionism and find more mental and emotional peace this year, I have to tell you the one and only truth: nobody can do this work for you. No course, no mentor, no friend, no nutritionist, no hair dresser can bring out your full glow (although they can certainly help!). Only you can. Your glow is 100% in your hands.
That's the thing about coaching: you have to do the work, and you have to be ready and willing to change. That's how your glow can come out, that's how you can be kinder to yourself, that's how you can make sure you fill your own cup first.
And if you're not quite there yet to take full ownership of where you're at, know that it is absolutely ok as well. How great that you are reading this and are working towards getting ready for your glow!
Reflection: On a scale of 1-10 (1 = not ready at all, 10 = so ready), how ready are you leave perfectionism behind, fully own your glow, create a sustainable work-life balance, so you have more time for yourself and for those you love most?
We're excited to see you turn your glow on this year!
WANT MORE TIPS FOR BUSY LEADERS? GET YOUR FREE SELF-CARE GUIDE
3 Tips for High Achieving Perfectionists Who Are Ready to Remove Overwhelm and Work Less
...WITHOUT COMPROMISING RESULTS AND BURNING YOURSELF OUT
I created a free self-care guide if youβre someone who always puts everyone else - especially work! - first and needs some tips for perfectionists to slow down again! Click the button below to download your self-care guide for free: