What are your holiday boundaries, beautiful? As many of us prepare to return to our families (and with that: our family dynamics) for the holidays, or travel to our hometowns filled with childhood friends (or bullies...), anxiety can be high this time of year...
This is a great time to start thinking about your boundaries and prepping yourself for situations that might arise over the holiday season. Your mom might ask again why you're not married yet, or your cousin may ask again if you didn't plan on having a family anytime soon (especially if they're younger than you and are "steps ahead" in that getting-married-and-having-kids journey that seems to be the most important thing in our society).
Staying mentally sane with no-go topics
Let's just assume that C (you know which word starts with C), the new regulations, the new variant will be the hot topic of every gathering and may cause conflicts, arguments, and separation from your loved ones, because not everyone is accepting of how you feel about the situation (and maybe deep down, you’re also not fully accepting of how others feel?!).
Some situations and behavior patterns are naturally going to come up (unless you’ve done the deep work and healed your past, but even then, some shadows may still be triggered again), and others can somewhat be controlled by our conscious mind with clear boundaries.
For example, for the sake of everyone's mental sanity, I recently decided that, in my house, which I like to call The Glow Villa, there will no longer be discussions about C with any of my family. Not because I want to ignore what’s happening, but to keep our focus on joy, peace, and harmony for everyone, since most people are already experiencing high levels of stress, frustration, and anxiety around this topic.
Get ready to say NO more this holiday season
Sometimes, you may need to say NO in the next few days. NO to the cookies. NO to another glass of wine, NO to invitations. Can you confidently say NO or will you secretly convince yourself that “it’s ok”, even if deep down you don’t want to?
And what about saying NO to mindless scrolling on social media maybe? Turning to social media can be a huge "escape mechanism” for many, so we don’t have to face the conflicts, and maybe even the truths that are being brought to light to us.
So my question is: How will you respond in these situations?
I encourage you to take a moment this week to think about your boundaries before you're put in a situation to have to enforce them. Say this with me:
It is safe for me to have boundaries.
It is safe for me to say NO.
It is safe for me to put my (physical, mental, and emotional) wellbeing first.
Have a wonderful holiday, beautiful!
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